Bookshelf

🚀 The Book in 3 Sentences

1. You control your beliefs, they don’t have to be grounded in fact and should be eliminated or changed so they help you reach your goals.
2. Adopt useful beliefs about the people you interact with: Some just want to be heard, some want to be affirmed, some want to be appreciated.
3. If you believe you’re the sort of person who is energetic and can get things moving, it will become reality.

🎨 Impressions

In the appendix of Derek Sivers’ new book called “Useful Not True” there’s a long list of books he cites as having influenced his thoughts on writing the book. Among them, this one here. Although the basic idea of the book is the same that Sivers discusses in his, the shortness of the book and the possibility of getting the idea presented from another angle made the decision for me to read it easy.

And yes, it’s short and to the point. And the idea was good even before Sivers picked it up and refined it: Triggers, which inspire positive action don’t have to be true as long as they help achieve the results you want and which are best for most.

The structure of the book was laid out well by splitting the exemplified ‘useful beliefs’ into the categories of past, present, and future, and rounding it all off with a conclusive chapter.

While it’s clear how a useful belief will affect the present and future, it has been a good reminder to also consider adopting the framework when thinking about the past. The big example in this book is the way your parents treated you. This isn’t limited to the parents, of course, it can be stated for any meaningful interaction in the past. Thinking “they were exactly the right parents for me and I got to this point because they behaved in the way they did“ instead of blaming them for all the perceived shortcomings of your current state surely is more useful, with the caveat that it’s only a good idea if your general life situation can be objectively categorized as positive. Tell that to a broke or clinically depressed person and the belief has to be a different one in order to be useful.

The author, Chris Helder, wades closely to the “everything happens for a reason” camp, which I don’t think is actually that useful. Many people interpret it to mean that the universe or whoever is punishing them for something when they find themselves in bad situations. That’s not a great idea. Everything has a cause, yes, but a reason is a different thing. If you find yourself to be born into a rich family, that doesn’t mean you deserve it. Many people think that way, though. All of this could have been part of the book, but it wasn’t, which is a missed opportunity. The idea needs more differentiation, in my opinion. What makes a belief truly useful?

What I didn’t like about the form was the way the three main chapters were presented. As a fable. The author wrote them by using a fictional version of himself encountering several different made-up people who then transfer the specific knowledge to him, leaving him apparently so excited about these mind-blowing ideas he barely can contain himself. This leaves the bitter taste of self-flattery which I found excruciatingly hilarious, but in a bad way, in The E-Myth Revisited. There’s no need for this silly method of invented dialog! The idea is good enough it can be conveyed in a plain way as well. My guess is that without it, the book would have been too short for the publishers or something like that. It surely inflates the core ideas to many more pages than necessary.

Then, there’s a chapter headlined with the bold statement that “energy is a decision” – when I read that, I felt attacked. Sure, it’s meant to be a useful belief and not necessarily true, so I stayed open to this new idea, but after giving it some thought I am still torn. Is this useful? Who is he to state this? What hardship has he survived? Has he said this to a single mom of three who works three jobs? I feel like he is missing the life experience to just hit us readers with that. I am fairly certain that energy is a depletable resource, and while his idea can be useful in just making it through the mandatory stuff the day throws at us, I believe it’s more important to take care of a healthy replenishment of energy afterwards. Otherwise burnout will just be a certainty. Does he think burnout and depression can be solved by just telling someone affected to shift their mindset towards that of “energy is a decision”? If so, that would be ridiculously misguided. But, as stated, even when speaking about perfectly healthy people, rest is important and a necessity.

To me, this has a vibe of one of those motivational speakers who just aim to wow a gullible crowd for an hour and sell pricey tickets for it without causing any lasting positive changes. An empty promise.

Back to his main point, though. I still think it’s a valid and worthy idea to implement useful beliefs into your life. This book didn’t give me much new stuff except for the nudge to also apply it to beliefs about the past. And to anyone reading this I would recommend to just go with Derek Sivers’ book “Useful Not True” instead. It’s more to the point and way less awkward.

📔 Highlights

Chapter One: A useful past

Truth is irrelevant. Because once I have a useful belief about the present, I will see the opportunities that we need to capitalise on right now.'

‘Simon, truth is often really overrated! And it usually doesn't help you get the result you want. What matters is whether or not that idea is a useful thing to believe.

‘The key is to ask yourself at a conscious level, “What is the most useful belief I could have about this situation I'm walking into?”

This is the best time in the history of the world to be in your industry/ company/ job. Is this true? It doesn't matter. It is useful to see the opportunities of the right now. This is the greatest time ever to be a parent (and to be a child). When you believe this, you are more present as a parent. This experience (meeting/ trip/ appointment/ day) is definitely happening, so what is the most useful mindset for me to go into it with?

Chapter Two: A useful present

I mean, if you want to influence our generation in the workplace, a useful belief is that we're all members of a really exciting, innovative, well-informed generation. If you are a manager of young people and have that belief system, my generation will want to work for you. That's because they want to be respected.'

This is what makes it useful to believe this is the best year ever in your industry and your company. When you believe that, you start to see business opportunities everywhere.'

See, so many people my age go out there with their cocky attitudes, trying to impress older people with their knowledge. But that's not going to do the trick. What will impress the Boomers is if you listen to their story.

Older people don't want to be impressed—they want to be heard.

‘If you are going to manage Generation Y, it's useful to embrace their view of the world. So here's a useful belief: this is the most exciting, visual, well-informed, open, connected and energetic generation in the history of the world.

This is the best time in the history of the world to be alive. That is useful!

Don't get frustrated. When you face challenges, ask yourself a simple question: ‘What is the most useful strategy to move me forward from here?'

Chapter Three: A useful future

Because it is an incredible thing when you feel the weight of past regrets lift off your shoulders, and instead of oppressing you they now make you stronger. That belief is simply useful.

‘You can create your own new reality. The challenge of the journey is exciting. It is not about being infallible, but rather the opposite.

Chapter Four: From useful belief to useful action

It really is a fantastic time to be alive. When we start to believe this, we start to see things differently.

However, it's critical to ask yourself a simple question: ‘What is the most useful activity I can do today?'

If you watch someone with excellent posture, you'll notice that their body language conveys that they are alert and awake. Make no mistake, the mind follows suit. When the body is alert and awake, the mind is alert and awake too.

When you are grateful, the quality of your day improves. Creating a quality day is definitely useful, and gratitude will help your reticular activating system find the opportunities that exist everywhere around you. If you are cynical, you won't see even those opportunities that are right in front of you.

Among all the successful people I have had the privilege of meeting and working with, I have never met a truly successful person who did not possess abundant energy. And this energy is contagious.

They have made the decision to possess and enjoy boundless energy.

Most people believe their energy level controls them, instead of the other way around. You are totally and completely in control of the level you have on any given day.

But the good thing is you can draw on as much energy as you want. You just have to decide to have more. It is already present for you in abundance.

I challenge you to identify the activities in your life that you should do more of and then to take action to get those tasks done.

Useful final thoughts

My hope is that we can learn to better appreciate each other on our journey. It is useful to be happy for other people. It is useful to have people with whom to celebrate our victories and who can help lift us up after our defeats.